Neal Gladstone Memorial Site

Blog

  • Happy Birthday

    © 1986 Neal
    Gladstone

    Oo happy birthday Oo how we love you
    Each candle is a wish that will come true
    Alt Chorus
    Oo happy Birthday Make a wish
    Blow out the candles, give us a kiss
    Gonna take you out with us tonight
    To your favorite restaurant
    Gonna drink Champagne by candle light
    Give you anything you want
    All of us who love you so
    We just want to let you know
    Chorus
    As we celebrate this special day
    Well it isn’t hard to tell
    Wouldn’t want you any other way
    That the years will treat you well
    All of us that you have touched
    Want to show you just how much
    Chorus

  • Hair

    © 1999 Neal
    Gladstone

    There once was a time we were wild and free
    I thought we’d never be parted
    But then the years went drifting by
    And you slipped away from me
    Where in the world have you gone to
    Hair Hair I wish you were there
    Life is so lonely without you
    And who would have known
    when you were thick and fine
    That I would be losing you one at a time
    Poets write love poems about you
    Hair hair I just want my share
    Life is so lonely without you
    I cursed when you wouldn’t lie down
    But I was so foolish I didn’t know then
    That I would be joining the Hair Club for Men
    Others abuse and mistreat you
    Hair Hair they don’t even care
    They strip you and shave you and tease you
    I washed you with K mart shampoo
    But if you’d forgive me and come back to stay
    I’ll brush you and stroke you till you’re old and gray
    Hair Hair I’m in despair
    Come back to me I beseech you
    Hair Hair answer my prayer
    Life is so lonely without you
    Life is so lonely without you

  • Goin to the Landfill

    © 2001 Neal Gladstone

    Well we’re goin to the landfill Why don’t ya meet us at the landfill Things are comin to a standstill In every other part of town
    They’re puttin up a band shell They’re passin out a handbill Yeah we’re going to the landfill And we’re gonna have a real good time
    There’s gonna be a demonstration Against a major corporation For repeated violation Of environmental rules
    We’re gonna press for litigation There’s gonna be a confrontation And every television station Is gonna put us on the news
    Chorus
    Well a handsome politician Will make a critical decision To establish a commission To consider the complaint
    He’ll do a big investigation
    Collect a lot of information He’ll introduce some legislation And nothings gonna change
    Chorus

  • Goin’ to the Landfill

    © 2001 Neal
    Gladstone

    Well we’re goin to the landfill
    Why don’t ya meet us at the landfill
    Things are comin to a standstill
    In every other part of town
    They’re puttin up a band shell
    They’re passin out a handbill
    Yeah we’re going to the landfill
    And we’re gonna have a real good time
    There’s gonna be a demonstration
    Against a major corporation
    For repeated violation
    Of environmental rules
    We’re gonna press for litigation/
    There’s gonna be a confrontation
    And every television station
    Is gonna put us on the news
    Chorus
    Well a handsome politician
    Will make a critical decision
    To establish a commission
    To consider the complaint
    He’ll do a big investigation
    Collect a lot of information
    He’ll introduce some legislation
    And nothings gonna change
    Chorus

  • Country Cliche

    1985 Neal
    Gladstone

    My baby treated me bad
    She took all the money we had
    She moved to Honolulu to live with a guru
    She found in a magazine ad
    Tomorrow the rent payment’s due
    My job at the factory fell through
    But I won’t dispair I’m gonna pull up a chair
    And do what them songwriters do
    I’m gonna write me a
    Country cliche, a country cliche
    Cuz I need a hit in a very bad way
    Radio please won’t you play
    My country cliche
    In all my dreams your face appears
    Your pillow is soaked with my tears
    It hurt so today when the man called to say
    Our new bedroom set’s in at Sears
    I don’t know just where we went wrong
    I tried so hard to get along
    But I’m not denying it might be worth the crying
    If I could get rich off this song and write me a
    Chorus
    Now you can write a hit song too
    Just don’t put in too much that’s new
    And stick to the rhymes
    You’ve heard ten thousand times
    So we can sing all the words first time through
    And if your true love leaves you cold
    And looking at “Playboy” gets old
    Don’t think it’s the end, just pick up a pen
    And turn your depression to gold
    And write you a…

  • Grapefruit in Your Life

    1989 Neal
    Gladstone

    When there’s a grapefruit in your life
    Every morning is a treasure
    When you stumble from your bed, your eyes are slits of
    red
    And your tongue tastes like a tire
    When you open up the door
    Of your frost free Kelvinator
    There’s a gleaming yellow sphere right behind the beer
    Cast aside your cares and strife
    There’s a grapefruit in your life
    When there’s a grapefruit on your plate
    You tremble with anticipation
    When a perfect golden jewel, succulent and cool
    Wakens to your fond caress
    As you pierce the blushing skin
    Juices flow in all directions
    Slice a tender ruby wedge with your cool serrated edge
    Bow your head and celebrate
    There’s a grapefruit on your plate
    Bridge
    I have known life’s finest pleasures
    Rembrandt, Keats and Mahler
    But how can Keats compete with these at
    3 pounds for a dollar
    When there’s a grapefruit in your mouth
    You can scarce believe your mortal
    Every tender bite you chew spreads a sweet and fruity
    goo
    Over every tooth and gum
    And your taste buds burst with song
    In a fructose exultation
    Let us give a fond salute to the noble citrus fruit
    Thank your grocer thank the south
    There’s a grapefruit in your mouth

  • Good Things

    © 1997 Neal
    Gladstone

    Good things come out of my mind
    Bad things come out too
    I never quite know what my mind will do
    Until I’m thinkin about you
    When I’m thinkin bout you bout you
    I sure like thinking bout you
    The very best thing that my mind can do
    Is write a little song
    And do a little thinkin bout you bout you
    Good notes come out of my mouth
    Bad notes come out too
    I never quite know what my mouth will do
    Until I get around you
    When I get around you around you
    It sure likes kissin on you
    The very best thing that my mouth can do
    Is sing a little song
    And do a little kissin on you on you
    This old body groans and creaks
    It drinks too much coffee eats too much sweets
    Well it breaks down fast and it comes back slow
    But it sure perks up around you
    Good things come out of my heart
    Bad things seldom do
    I never quite know what my heart will do
    Until I get around you
    When I get around you around you
    It sure starts beatin for you
    The very best thing that my heart can do
    Is pump a little love
    And do a little beatin for you

  • Goodbye Song

    ©2009 Neal Gladstone

    And now at last the hour has come
    To say good night to everyone
    We’d love to play all evening
    But the folks in back are sleeping!
    We’ve had such a lovely time
    You’ve all been so very kind
    ‘Til we get the chance to see you again
    You’ll be often on our minds
    We would surely love to stay
    We have so much more to say
    ‘Til we get the chance to see you again
    Adios and Namaste
    Someday when we reminisce
    We will all remember this
    We will remember these good times
    Forever and ever with you.
    Long after you have left the theater
    Long after you are in your beds
    The sweet sounds of applause and laughter
    Will still be running through our heads

  • Get Cloned

    © 1982 Neal
    Gladstone
    When you have unhealthy habits and your body falls apart
    And you need another kidney and you need another heart
    Get cloned, get cloned
    When you have a date with Sally but you’d rather be with
    Sue
    And you’d like to keep her happy and you don’t know what
    to do
    Send clone, send clone
    Always glad to see you
    He will never leave you
    See yourself as others see you
    You will never be alone CLONE
    When you pull a stupid blunder you feel clumsy and inane
    And you’d like to blame somebody but there’s no one else
    to blame
    Blame clone, blame clone
    When you have an ugly problem and it’s getting out of
    hand
    And you need to find somebody who will really understand
    Tell clone, tell clone
    Always glad to see you
    He will never leave you
    See yourself as others see you
    You will never be alone CLONE
    When your needs are strange and nasty and your friends
    keep leaving town
    And you need to find somebody who will never turn you
    down
    Use clone, use clone

  • Foreign Eyes

    ©1978
    Michael Koss
    Foreign eyes are meeting
    Inviting foreign smiles
    You’re such a lonely traveler
    Won’t you stay here for a while?
    Took a trip to Belgium
    Got there just in time
    Met a lovely lady
    She was skinny, five foot nine
    If you take a trip to see me
    Call me in advance
    I’ll try to meet you at the airport
    If I have the chance
    Foreign eyes are touching
    Wanting to be near
    Please write me on a postcard
    Saying “wish that you were here”
    Chorus
    Foreign eyes are strangers
    Watching all the time
    But understanding nothing
    Wish those foreign eyes weren’t mine