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  • You Can’t Stay Here

    © 1986 Neal
    Gladstone

    You can pamper your condition
    With exercise and good nutrition
    You can tint that gray here
    Work out twice a day here
    But you know what they say dear:
    You can’t stay here
    You can rise to wealth and power
    Reigning from your corporate tower
    You can buy and sell here
    Watch your profits swell here
    But when they ring that bell dear:
    You can’t stay here
    When we were young
    We always hung together
    Where are you now
    Positive that we would live forever
    Now you’re not around
    Since you’ve gone underground
    You can tangle our emotion
    You can bank on our devotion
    You can lead the blind here
    Feed us all a line here
    But keep one thing in mind dear:
    You can’t say here
    I tried to find a valentine to send you
    Where are you now
    I really hope its meaning won’t offend you
    Now you’re not around
    Since you’ve gone underground
    You can take the road to glory
    Rolling Stone can write your story
    You can be the one here
    Who rides into the sun here
    Hope you’re having fun dear
    Cause you can’t stay here
    Please take a number
    Sing for your supper
    You aint gettin younger
    Sure gonna miss ya
    Ya can’t take it with ya

  • Work the Sausage

    © Neal
    Gladstone

    I met you in a Polish meat store
    I really like the way you dressed
    I ordered 50 pounds of Bratwurst baby
    And I was really quite impressed when you
    CHORUS
    Worked the sausage worked the sausage
    And then I asked you out for breakfast
    We laughed a had a couple of drinks
    And then I ordered toast an coffee
    But you just wanted smokey links I saw you
    And then I asked you out for breakfast
    We walked into a small cafe
    You took me up to your apartment
    You offered me a glass of wine
    You made me a salami sandwich baby
    And then you really blew my mind when you

  • Wedding Wish

    © 1996 Neal
    Gladstone

    We are gathered here together on this lovely summer day
    To celebrate your union and send you on your way
    As you tie your dreams together with a simple
    band of gold
    We wish you all the joy hearts can hold
    Your lives have been a journey the stars have been your
    guide
    They’ve led you to the special one who’s standing
    by your side
    As you sail along together and your destines unfold
    We wish you all the joy your hearts can hold
    There surely will be trials along the way
    No one will be spared their share of pain
    But tho there may be hard times
    We take delight in sunshine
    Only when we’ve come to know the lonely sound of rain
    And the one that you have chosen is generous and
    kind
    Knows the wisdom of forgiveness and the healing power
    of time
    May they comfort and protect you and give you shelter
    from the cold
    And bring you all the joy your heart can hold
    SOLO
    There surely will be trials along the way
    No one will be spared their share of pain
    But tho there may be hard times
    We take delight in sunshine
    Only when we’ve come to know the lonely sound of rain
    And those of us who love you our prayers are with you
    now
    We offer you our blessings and bear witness to your vow
    May your home be filled with harmony from the music in
    your soul
    And we wish you all the joy your hearts can hold
    We wish you all the joy your hearts can hold

  • To See You Again

    © 1993 Neal Gladstone

    I was walking down a crowded steeet on a summer aftemoon
    When I heard somebody laughing the way you used to do
    I tried to keep from staring and I pulled my eyes away
    But I could feel you there beside me like it was yesterday
    And it would be so good to see you again
    To look into your eyes my beautiful friend
    To hear the sound of your voice and feel the touch of your hand
    It would be so good to see you again
    In the early years we lived our dreams in restless poetry
    The future shined with our design as far as we could see
    We spent those days so carelessly but then I never knew
    That time would come to take me so far away from you
    Life goes on and the years roll by
    What I would not give to see you one more time
    When I look back upon my life and who I’ve come to be
    I find that there’s a part of you in every part of me
    I miss you in so many ways and yet when I recall
    The echo of your laughter I miss you most of all

  • Throat Man

    © 1990 Neal
    Gladstone

    If your nose is drippin and your throat is sore
    If your ears are ringin and your eyesight’s poor
    I am the doc on the block you should be looking for cause
    I’m the
    Eye ear nose and throat man
    I’m the best in the business and it’s not hard to see
    Everything above the neck is my specialty
    So don’t mess with the rest come directly to me cause
    I’m the
    Eye ear nose and throat man
    Think of my position
    As your personal physician
    I’ll advise you on nutrition
    Sweeten your condition
    Cause I consider it my mission
    To enhance your disposition
    Reduce your inhibition
    Yeah I’m a medical magician
    I can bolster your defenses I can rectify your ills
    With the proper combination of therapy and pills
    A hundred happy customers are glad to pay my bills cause
    I’m the
    Eye ear nose and throat man
    When you come in for consultation–there is no obligation
    We’ll discuss the situation in total relaxation
    I’ll give you an examination–prescribe some medication
    Soon there’ll be confirmation–Of complete recuperation
    Bridge 2

  • The Party

    © 1986 Neal
    Gladstone

    Well I went to a party in Beverly Hills
    All the people were cool, hip and groovy
    There were beautiful women who longed to be loved
    It was just like an X-rated movie
    The music started to play
    And everyone got up to dance
    I was taking a thread off my pants
    When I saw her
    She was wearing more make up than Zsa Zsa Gabor
    And her beauty left something desired
    But to my amazement she started to dance
    Like the ovens of hell had been fired
    From the moment I met her
    She just kept getting better
    O how could I forget her
    When I saw that she knew
    All the latest dances
    Well I went in the bathroom to check out my hair
    And I squirted some musk on my ear lobe
    And when I came out she was thrashing around
    Like a cat that had jumped on a wood stove
    Well we danced every dance past a quarted to three
    Till my legs were like neoprene rubber
    And I said to myself “Gee thank God
    for my health.”
    As I danced with my Amazon lover

  • The One I Love

    © 1975 Neal
    Gladstone

    You could walk along
    The other side forever
    You may never know
    I’m dreaming of
    You could disappear
    Like ripples in the river
    You could be the one I love
    Like a drop of rain on a window pane
    Like the sunset on a mountain
    Like a whiporwill on a windowsill
    Like a bubble in a fountain
    You could be the one
    To fill my nights with laughter
    You could sparkle like
    The stars above
    You could be here now
    And gone the moment after
    You could be the one I love

  • Toyota

    Words by Neal Gladstone

    The most beautiful sound I ever heard
    Toyota Toyota Toyota Toyota
    All the cars on the road in a single word
    Toyota Toyota Toyota Toyota
    Toyota Toyota Toyota Toyota
    Toyota, I just drove a car named Toyota
    And now I understand how lovely a sedan can be
    Toyota
    I just bought a car called Toyota
    And suddenly the road will never be as cold to me
    Toyota
    Drive it fast and the doves are cooing
    Drive it slow and it’s almost like screwing
    Toyota, I’ll never stop driving Toyota
    The most beautiful sound I ever heard
    Toyota

  • Take It All

    © 1981 Neal
    Gladstone

    Take it all boys, take it all
    Push her down boys watch her fall
    Take her heart hear it break
    And when you’ve taken everything there is to take
    You’ll have nothing
    Take her tears boys, take her breath
    Take her soul boys plan her death
    Take her oceans, take her lands
    And when every piece of gold is in your hands
    You’ll have nothing
    You have brought her down with your disdain
    While singing pretty songs about her amber waves of grain
    She will not forgive you now
    It doesn’t matter anyhow
    Take it all boys take it all
    Send an army build a wall
    And when you’ve taken everything
    Then everyone will know that you were king
    Of nothing
    nothing