Neal Gladstone Memorial Site

Blog

  • 50 Ways

    Words by Neal
    Gladstone

    The problem’s not inside your head she said to me
    You’re not depressed, my friend, you-just eat horrendously
    If you want good health you’ve got to think organically
    There must be 50 ways to love your liver
    Well Doc, I said, you know that’s easy for you to say
    I’m not sure everyone would see it quite that way
    But just for argument perhaps you could explain
    About the 50 ways to love your liver
    Cut done on meat, Pete
    Substitute soy, Roy
    Drink plenty of juice, Bruce
    And listen to me
    Back off on fries, guys
    Get a little exercize
    Take vitamin C, Lee
    And have a good pee
    She said, “If you keep up like this your liver will
    be trashed
    These days a transplant costs a 100,000 cash.”
    Now hold on doc, I said, we shouldn’t be too rash
    There must be 50 ways to save my liver
    She just shook her head and handed me the bill
    I went home and threw a couple T-bones on the grill
    Drank a maritini and wrote out my will
    There must be 50 ways to love your liver

  • Honey Maker (1986)

    ©1986 Neal Gladstone

    Honey maker won’t you be my baker
    Toast me golden brown
    I’ve been risin, need some supervisin
    Please don’t turn me down
    She said Whoa, you best forget your plan
    You’re not my kind of man
    Now get out while you can
    Lovely creature won’t you be my teacher
    We could PhD
    I’ve been yearnin for the higher learnin
    You could give to me
    She said Whoa now why don’t you get smart
    We’re much too far apart
    And I’ll just break your heart
    (he likes jam and she likes jelly
    he like Keats and she likes Shelley
    he likes fall and she likes summer)
    Sweet musician
    Give me an audition
    Don’t be so unkind
    I will write you something to delight you
    And help you change your mind
    She said Whoa now let’s get one thing clear
    Your love’s not wanted here
    Why don’t you disappear
    (he likes blue and she likes yellow
    he plays pool and she plays cello
    he likes fall and she likes summer
    he likes warm and she likes chilly
    he likes smart and she likes silly
    he likes fall and she likes summer…)

  • Honeymaker (1978)

    © 1978 Neal
    Gladstone

    Honeymaker, won’t you be my baker
    Toast me golden brown
    I’ve been rising, need some supervising
    Please don’t turn me down
    She said Whoa…You best forget your plan
    You’re not my kind of man
    Now get out while you can
    Lovely creature, won’t you be my teacher
    We could PhD
    I’ve been yearning for the higher learning
    You could give to me
    She said Whoa, now let’s get one thing clear
    Your love’s not wanted here
    Why don’t you disappear
    Sweet magician, consider my position
    What else can I do?
    Kind affection for my fine projection
    Is all I want from you
    She said Whoa, now why don’t you get smart
    We’re much too far apart
    And I’ll just break your heart

  • 50 Ways

    Words by Neal
    Gladstone

    The problem’s not inside your head she said to me
    You’re not depressed, my friend, you-just eat horrendously
    If you want good health you’ve got to think organically
    There must be 50 ways to love your liver
    Well Doc, I said, you know that’s easy for you to say
    I’m not sure everyone would see it quite that way
    But just for argument perhaps you could explain
    About the 50 ways to love your liver
    Cut done on meat, Pete
    Substitute soy, Roy
    Drink plenty of juice, Bruce
    And listen to me
    Back off on fries, guys
    Get a little exercize
    Take vitamin C, Lee
    And have a good pee
    She said, “If you keep up like this your liver will
    be trashed
    These days a transplant costs a 100,000 cash.”
    Now hold on doc, I said, we shouldn’t be too rash
    There must be 50 ways to save my liver
    She just shook her head and handed me the bill
    I went home and threw a couple T-bones on the grill
    Drank a maritini and wrote out my will
    There must be 50 ways to love your liver