Neal Gladstone Memorial Site

Author: Web Admin Cole

  • Lassoguy

    Howdy, folks. My name’s Neal Lasso Gladstone
    . My friends
    call me Lasso. Sometimes people say “Hey, where’d you get that name
    anyhow?”Well, I’ll tell ya. One day I ran into this guy’s car with
    my pickup. He jumps out and yells “Hey, Lasso!” I kinda liked
    it. Had a nice ring to it. People been callin’ me that ever since.

  • Kitty Holiday

    © 1985 Neal
    Gladstone

    Hello, Dear Clementine and Fritzi
    It seems like ages since I wrote
    But even though we’ve all be so very busy
    I just had to drop you cats a note
    August 4th my Tommy’s turning 7
    Poor boy he thinks he’s getting gray
    We have a party planned
    Come join us if you can
    Leave town, fly down
    For the Kitty Kitty Holiday
    We’re so busy making preparations
    Candy’s called the caterers from Queens
    We even had the woodshed stocked with church mice
    For those who like that kind of thing
    Norton hired the TipTop Tabby Dance Band
    You know how well those cats can play
    We’re looking forward to
    Having a dance with you
    Circle the date, come celebrate
    The Kitty Kitty Holiday
    We’ve ordered tuna fresh from Laguna
    It’s very good this year they say
    I know a lion who lives in Zion
    Who says he’s dyin to keep the dogs away
    (He’s really just a pussy)
    Uncle Manx is flying down from Pittsburg
    Lately he’s been into Chairman Meow
    But when he smells
    Aunt Jezabel’s lobster newburg
    I doubt he’ll ask for kitty chow
    You know he had distemper in December
    The vets tell us he’ll be okay
    He’d love to see you all
    Why not give him a call
    He’ll be fine in plenty of time
    For the Kitty Kitty Holiday
    We’ll get our dairy from Cousin Harry
    He asks about you every day
    He had a bad trip and almost had to quit
    Just too much catnip, I’m afraid
    (it really is a pity)
    We took in a movie by Fellini
    Up at Cannes it made the critics rave
    I thought the plot was good
    But not worth that howling
    Tom says he’s not into Mew Wave
    I guess that’s all the news that is amusing
    And I’ve got this salmon to filet
    We miss you very much
    Be well and keep in touch
    Stay cool and we’ll see you
    At the Kitty Kitty Holiday

  • Is everybody ready is everybody ready

    © 1994 Neal
    Gladstone

    Is everybody ready is everybody ready
    Is everybody ready Little Freddie’s turnin 30
    Is everybody ready is everybody ready
    Is everybody ready Little Freddie’s turnin 30
    Time to get all sweaty Time to throw confetti
    Is everybody ready Little Freddy’s turnin 30
    Is everybody ready is everybody ready
    Is everybody ready Freddy’s goin to the city
    He’s goin with his baby he’s gonna take his kitty
    He’s goin with his baby and he’s goin to the city
    Is everybody ready He’s gettin kind a giddy
    Is everybody ready little Freddy’s goin to the city
    Is everybody ready is everybody ready
    Is everybody ready Little Freddie’s turnin 30
    Time to get all sweaty Time to get all dirty
    Is everybody ready Little Freddie’s turnin 30
    Let’s get on with the party Dance until your sweaty
    Is everybody ready Little Freddie’s turnin 30
    He’s goin with his baby and he’s goin to the city
    Is everybody ready He’s gettin kind a giddy
    Is everybody ready little Freddy’s goin to the city
    Is everybody ready is everybody ready
    Is everybody ready Little Freddie’s turnin 30
    Time to get all sweaty Time to get all dirty
    Is everybody ready Little Freddie’s turnin 30
    Let’s get on with the party Dance until your sweaty
    Is everybody ready Little Freddie’s turnin 30

  • I See Stars

    © 1980 Neal
    Gladstone

    It’s not so hard to do
    It’s not so hard to see
    I’m in love with you
    You’re in love with me
    The moon is on the rise
    Lights are burning low
    You tell me with your eyes
    All I need to know
    Chorus
    When I hold you in my arms, I see stars
    I see stars, I feel everything
    When you thrill me with your charms,
    I see stars, I see stars, I feel everything
    When all is said and done
    There’s one thing left to stay
    You’re the only one
    That makes me feel this way

  • I’ll Do It

    © 1987 Neal
    Gladstone

    What am I doing here
    You’ve made it very clear
    That I should disappear
    Alright , I’ll do it
    I gave you all I had
    But you still treat me bad
    Guess I should call a cab
    Alright I’ll do it
    When you asked me to make love to you
    In cycle boots with diapers on my head
    I did it
    When you tied me down with paperclips
    And made me eat potato chips in bed
    I did it
    I sit by the telephone
    Work on my muscle tone
    Should I try silicone
    Alright, I do it
    My doctor says that I’m depressed
    I should be friends with other men instead
    Forget it
    When other men ask me to spend
    The night with them I always say drop dead
    They do it
    Heaven knows I have tried
    To keep you satisfied
    Now I’m thinking suicide
    Alright, I’ll do it

  • I Know That

    ©2009 Neal Gladstone

    CHORUS:
    I know that, don’t you think I know that
    I know that, don’t you think I know that
    I know that, don’t you think I’ve heard those words before
    I don’t want to hear them any more.
    I used to think you were so refined
    I looked to you for direction
    I used to stand in the waiting line
    Vying for your attention
    You ask me to believe everything that you do
    Write your biography and walk around behind you
    Treat somebody like a monkey, monkey’s gonna bite you.
    CHORUS
    You want a choir of devotees to idolize you
    But even devotees get tired of being lied to
    Treat somebody like a monkey, monke’y’s gonna bite you.
    CHORUS

  • I Feel 50

    Words by Neal Gladstone

    I Feel 50
    I feel 50 oh so 50
    It’s not nifty how fifty I feel
    And so 50 I admit it seems a bit sur-real
    I feel grubby I feel tubby
    I’m getting chubby on Reisling and brie
    And so 50 I can’t believe that it’s all me
    Bridge
    See that 50 face in the mirror there
    Who can that antique person be
    Such a 50 face such a 50 bod such a 50 skin
    Such a 50 me.
    When I was younger I had a hunger
    For adventure and sports cars and blonds
    Now I’m 50, and I dream about municipal bonds
    I take classes I need glasses
    I pass ambient gasses with glee
    When you’re 50 you can simulate a symphony
    Bridge
    What’s that little pain in my vertebrae
    What’s that little mole on my ear
    What’s that little glitch what’s that little wheeze what’s that little twitch
    Think I’ll have a beer?
    Now I’m grownup
    Need to tone up
    Better bone up and hone up my rear
    So I’ll live 50 more wonderful years

  • Heavy Metal Heavy

    © 1986 Neal Gladstone

    Well I’m a heavy metal rocker
    High above the crowd
    I don’t have too much talent
    But I sure can play loud
    Twelve year olds go crazy
    When I do my stuff
    I don’t have to sing so good
    If my pants are tight enough
    And I’m a heavy metal heavy
    Cut you to the quick
    Heavy metal heavy
    Tryin to make you..make you
    Make you sick
    Now metal rock aint easy
    As everybody thinks
    You know these chains get heavy
    You know this leather shrinks
    You got to lose your hearing
    You got to learn to dance
    But you know that aint so easy
    With a sausage in your pants
    Now if you want to make it
    You got to have a plan
    Scream without a reason
    Be obnoxious as you can
    Eat a cocker spaniel
    Act completely nuts
    The kids will buy your records
    If their parents hate your guts

  • Hard Times

    © 1983 Neal Gladstone

    Nameless, making my way through the jungle
    Solace nowhere to be found
    I was hurtin, uncertain insecure and losing ground
    But in hard times, darling, you never ever let me down
    I arrived in LA Sunday, in the morning in the rain
    You were there to meet me early at the station
    I was labelled, disabled, stranded in the Lost and Found
    But in hard times, darling, you never ever let me down
    I was drifting in dispair
    Dreams were crashing everywhere
    When I stumbled you were there,
    beside me
    When I blow in all directions
    And the storm comes rolling in
    When I’m running low
    on precious inspiration
    You find some words to soothe me
    Put your loving arms around
    And in hard times, darling,
    you never ever let me down

  • Happy Birthday

    © 1986 Neal
    Gladstone

    Oo happy birthday Oo how we love you
    Each candle is a wish that will come true
    Alt Chorus
    Oo happy Birthday Make a wish
    Blow out the candles, give us a kiss
    Gonna take you out with us tonight
    To your favorite restaurant
    Gonna drink Champagne by candle light
    Give you anything you want
    All of us who love you so
    We just want to let you know
    Chorus
    As we celebrate this special day
    Well it isn’t hard to tell
    Wouldn’t want you any other way
    That the years will treat you well
    All of us that you have touched
    Want to show you just how much
    Chorus