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Honeymaker (1978)
© 1978 Neal
GladstoneHoneymaker, won’t you be my baker
Toast me golden brown
I’ve been rising, need some supervising
Please don’t turn me down
She said Whoa…You best forget your plan
You’re not my kind of man
Now get out while you can
Lovely creature, won’t you be my teacher
We could PhD
I’ve been yearning for the higher learning
You could give to me
She said Whoa, now let’s get one thing clear
Your love’s not wanted here
Why don’t you disappear
Sweet magician, consider my position
What else can I do?
Kind affection for my fine projection
Is all I want from you
She said Whoa, now why don’t you get smart
We’re much too far apart
And I’ll just break your heart -
Honey Maker (1986)
©1986 Neal Gladstone
Honey maker won’t you be my baker
Toast me golden brown
I’ve been risin, need some supervisin
Please don’t turn me down
She said Whoa, you best forget your plan
You’re not my kind of man
Now get out while you can
Lovely creature won’t you be my teacher
We could PhD
I’ve been yearnin for the higher learnin
You could give to me
She said Whoa now why don’t you get smart
We’re much too far apart
And I’ll just break your heart
(he likes jam and she likes jelly
he like Keats and she likes Shelley
he likes fall and she likes summer)
Sweet musician
Give me an audition
Don’t be so unkind
I will write you something to delight you
And help you change your mind
She said Whoa now let’s get one thing clear
Your love’s not wanted here
Why don’t you disappear
(he likes blue and she likes yellow
he plays pool and she plays cello
he likes fall and she likes summer
he likes warm and she likes chilly
he likes smart and she likes silly
he likes fall and she likes summer…) -
50 Ways
Words by Neal
GladstoneThe problem’s not inside your head she said to me
You’re not depressed, my friend, you-just eat horrendously
If you want good health you’ve got to think organically
There must be 50 ways to love your liver
Well Doc, I said, you know that’s easy for you to say
I’m not sure everyone would see it quite that way
But just for argument perhaps you could explain
About the 50 ways to love your liver
Cut done on meat, Pete
Substitute soy, Roy
Drink plenty of juice, Bruce
And listen to me
Back off on fries, guys
Get a little exercize
Take vitamin C, Lee
And have a good pee
She said, “If you keep up like this your liver will
be trashed
These days a transplant costs a 100,000 cash.”
Now hold on doc, I said, we shouldn’t be too rash
There must be 50 ways to save my liver
She just shook her head and handed me the bill
I went home and threw a couple T-bones on the grill
Drank a maritini and wrote out my will
There must be 50 ways to love your liver