Allergies

© 1992 Neal
Gladstone

Every summer breeze that blows
Starts your tender, burning nose
Dripping like a garden hose in June
Swollen eye lids block the sun
Mucous membranes weigh a ton
Mother nature’s just having fun with you
Chorus 1
You got Allergies Allergies
Make you cough and make you sneeze
Every little summer breeze brings allergies
Scratchy throat and aching jaw
Blazing nostrils cracked and raw
You’re wheezing like a power saw aren’t you
Kleenex wads around your bed
Hockey players in your head
Dinner tastes like Wonder bread and glue
Bridge
Muscles ache and molars itch
Eyeballs feel like olive pits
Cold sores sprout like Goodyear blimps
On your blistered lips
Simultaneous with bridge
Just remember
What your mother said
Drink some tea and
Take a Sudaphed
Close the windows
Get rid of the cat
Wrap your head up
With/In a plastic bag/Saran Wrap
Close the windows
Use your nasal spray
Take your vitamins
Give the cat away
Buy a gas mask
Do a head stand
Sell the house and
Move to Iceland
So slather on the vaseline
Pop that antihistimine
Your nose looks like a nectarine
But there’s nothing you can do/you haven’t got the flu
you got
And bid your ass adieu
Chorus 3
You got Allergies Allergies
Don’t drink milk and don’t eat cheeze
Every little summer breeze brings allergies
Allergies won’t somebody help me with these
Allergies Allergies
Hell beneath the cottonwood trees
Every little summer breeze brings allergies
Won’t somebody save me from these Allergies