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Sleep Neat
© 1985 Neal Gladstone

I'm surely not the world's greatest lover
I never had much charm or savoir faire
And I don't have the wealth of Rockefeller
But when it comes to romance I'm the richest man around
I have a reputation with the ladies in this town
Sometimes people ask me for the secret that I found
How do I make those young hearts skip a beat?
Well... I sleep neat.
I sleep neat
From my head down to my feet
I have that sense of confidence
When I slide onto the sheet
When it comes to bedroom etiquette
My training is complete
That's all there is to it, I sleep neat
Now most men misdirect their concentration
They try so hard, but always seem to fail
I can, of course, relate to their frustration
Because nothing cools a love life like a midnight tug of war
When you wake up cold and crabby like you did the night before
With the sheet around your shoulder and the blanket on the floor
Wise up, boys, and give those gals a treat
Sleep neat. I sleep neat
Now everyone who seeks romantic pleasure
There's just one thing you really need to know
Get your couchée discipline together
A simple silk pajama is essential for good taste
A twin-controlled electric is a must in every case
A double bed is adequate any larger is a waste
And matching spread and curtain would be sweet
And sleep neat. I sleep neat
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