Go to Home Page
Go to Main Lyrics Page
Go to CD Page

Major Label
© 2002 Neal Gladstone

One day I said to my wife where have I been all my life
It’s time to savor the fruits of my labor
And let fame and fortune collide
Unlock the icon inside
And hop on that rocket and ride

Major Label discover me
You can take me where I want to be
Sign that contract shake my hand
Major Label Here I am
Won’t all my friends be amazed
When I am the latest craze
The fans will adore me and brands will emplore me
To wear their design on my jeans (fill up the video screens)
Pump their promotion machines (champagne and black limosines)
Cause that’s what America means
ML label me
Make me into a teenagers fantasy
I’ll pierce my nipple and get a tan
ML here I am

There is no one I can’t be
With the right publicity
There is nowhere I can’t go
If you get on the Letterman Show

My limo glides into town
Frenzied fans cluster around
I fly to Tibet in my personal jet
Where I dine with a French Billionaire
I dress in mink underwear
At 2000 dollars a pair
ML market me
Maximize your shareholders’ equity
Crunch the numbers fill your RAM
ML Here I am

He signs a multi-movie deal
They put his face on a Happy Meal
He marries a model Opens the bottle
Everyone knows what comes next
It’s just what the pub-lic ex-pects

(Then) My career takes a dive
And I get sued by 4 different wives
My agent won’t call me
The kids call me baldy
And box office goes down the drain
I take to gin and cocaine
And my Harley slams into a train
ML remember me
Put my life on a DVD
Find a pop star to sing my song
Cause ML I am gone
ML wholesale me
You don’t want to get stuck with all that extra inventory
The goose is gutted The well is dry
Major label say goodbye

Back to Home Page