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Lower Your Standards
© 2002 Neal Gladstone

If you are wondering, my dear
When true love ever will be yours
If you are hoping to find
The key that will open love’s doors

There is a secret there is the chance
To find that someone your true romance
Here’s all you really need to do
Just lower your standards lower your standards

He may not be perfect but he will do
Love isn’t tricky if you’re not too picky
And like a fungus he will grow on you
You may never know why he lives in a pig sty

Heaven knows he’s doing the best he can
Tho he may not be Tom Cruise still he’s learned to tie his shoes
So lower your standards he’s just a man
You may meet him at a party proving how much he can drink
He may be passed out in the bathroom or throwing up in the sink

When he asks you for your number keep an open mind
He just needs some understanding amd there’s a reason that love is blind
So you can lower your standards lower your standards

He’s not an Adonnis, but he will do
Love isn’t tricky if you’re not too picky
Like a fungus he will grow on you
When he says “Honey, can I have some money.”
Now is that so hard to understand
Though he may think Claude Monet plays tailback for LA
Just Lower your standards he’s just a man

He may have some manly habits. He may smoke a big cigar
Burning holes into your sofa and stinking up your car
He may love to chew tobacco and spit into a can
It may be a bit annoying but surely you can understand if you
Lower your standards lower your standards
He may not be perfect but he will do

Love isn’t tricky, if you’re not too picky
Like a fungus he will grow on you
So he comes to bed sweaty--why be so petty
You can always just turn on a fan
Though he may not have the brain of a bowl of shrimp chow mein
Lower your standards he’s just a man

Though he may not be too smart, still he’s got all the right parts
So lower your standards, he’s just a man

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