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I Feel 50

Words by Neal Gladstone

I Feel 50
I feel 50 oh so 50
It's not nifty how fifty I feel
And so 50 I admit it seems a bit sur-real
I feel grubby I feel tubby
I’m getting chubby on Reisling and brie
And so 50 I can’t believe that it’s all me

See that 50 face in the mirror there
Who can that antique person be
Such a 50 face such a 50 bod such a 50 skin
Such a 50 me.
When I was younger I had a hunger
For adventure and sports cars and blonds
Now I’m 50, and I dream about municipal bonds
I take classes I need glasses
I pass ambient gasses with glee
When you’re 50 you can simulate a symphony

What's that little pain in my vertebrae
What's that little mole on my ear
What's that little glitch what's that little wheeze what's that little twitch
Think I’ll have a beer?
Now I'm grownup
Need to tone up
Better bone up and hone up my rear
So I'll live 50 more wonderful years

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