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50 Ways

Words by Neal Gladstone

The problem's not inside your head she said to me
You're not depressed, my friend, you-just eat horrendously
If you want good health you've got to think organically
There must be 50 ways to love your liver
Well Doc, I said, you know that's easy for you to say
I'm not sure everyone would see it quite that way
But just for argument perhaps you could explain
About the 50 ways to love your liver
Cut done on meat, Pete
Substitute soy, Roy
Drink plenty of juice, Bruce
And listen to me
Back off on fries, guys
Get a little exercize
Take vitamin C, Lee
And have a good pee
She said, "If you keep up like this your liver will be trashed
These days a transplant costs a 100,000 cash."
Now hold on doc, I said, we shouldn't be too rash
There must be 50 ways to save my liver
She just shook her head and handed me the bill
I went home and threw a couple T-bones on the grill
Drank a maritini and wrote out my will
There must be 50 ways to love your liver
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